Calling Sick, On Break Until Further Notice

I wrote about how busy I’ve been lately, and also how it is having a deleterious impact on my health. Well, I’ve overworked myself until I got sick again, this time a strep throat whose symptoms I had been ignoring for a month—not two months after fighting off a MRSA infection that came uncomfortably close to killing me.

I may be a fighter, but I just don’t have the constitution for it. I’ve held an event yesterday, a celebration of life for Shea Smith, because I felt both he and the Pandora community deserved it. I’ve marched to the vigil for National Homeless Persons Memorial Day because like many I couldn’t bear the thought of our mayor sullying it. But this took me all the willpower I had left. I was sick, utterly tired, acutely in pain, and of course medicated. I struggled to remain vertical, and repeatedly zoned out in the middle of my public addresses. It’s a wonder I made it back home without collapsing, and I’ve paid the toll last night as the symptoms, especially the pain, became excruciating.

This was to be expected. I’ve been burning myself out since last summer by taking on far more than I can chew. In less than a year I repelled the alt right from town, became a notable legal advocate by mustering multiple challenges against the City of Victoria, held ambitious rallies left and right, granted many interviews to the media, organised ostentatiously (namely the Victoria Liberation Front) and in the background (recently the Oaklands Park Residents Association), in addition to documenting dozens of protests, attending advocacy events and organising meetings, butting heads with city officials both in high places and on the ground, running around town answering emergencies and giving away resources I scarcely have, playing errand boy for fellow advocates, plus a hell lot more drama I’m not writing about.

This is insanity. I’m a disabled person who’s barely hanging on at the best of times, and yet I’ve devoted all my time in the past several months to causes while answering other people’s calls for help. So I’ve got to make tough calls here, especially since there’s a badass outreach worker down the hallway who’s threatening to strap me to my bed if I try to pass the front door.

That means from this point forth, and until further notice, I will only answer emergencies, and limit my trips outdoors to the barest necessity. I’m unlikely to take on more cases than I already have, save for those I have already expressed interest in given what’s at stake. In particular, I’ll slowly be walking away from legal advocacy in the coming months; this is a hat I meant to wear only for the duration of the emergency anyway, as radical anarchists such as me only bother learning rules in order to exploit them or break them.

In light of the above, I wish I didn’t have to stress the fact I remain steadfastly unapologetic for being an asshole whenever I feel underappreciated by my allies or clients; nowadays I only feel sorry for myself for being pathologically nice, as ever. Next time you have something snarky to say about my being unpleasant, wonder instead what it is you did (or didn’t do) that finally made me snap.

On the bright side, I’m sitting on a huge heap of anime I finally have time to watch! That ought to keep me entertained until next riot. The rest of you, have fun without me.